courtroom humor

  1. 1,155 Posts.
    Doctor? Are you formally qualified in performing autopsies.
    Yes?
    Are you qualified to give blood tests and urine samples?
    In several ways.

    How many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
    All my autopsies have been performed on dead people.
    And how many dead people is that?
    A large number.

    Do you recall the time at which you examined the body?
    At about 8.30am

    And the husband was dead at that time when you commenced autopsy?
    No, he was sitting up wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him.

    Before you commenced the autopsy did you check for a pulse?
    No

    Did you check for his blood pressure?
    No

    Did you check for breathing?
    No

    So it is possible that the patient was still alive when the autopsy began?
    No

    How can you be so sure?
    Because most of his brain was sitting on my desk in a specimen container.

    Could the patient have been nevertheless in some form alive?
    Yes, perhaps it is possible he could still have been alive and practicising law.

 
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