I have the Moron Church knocking on my doors from time to time. They look and behave much like the salesmen for Encyclopedia Britannica. They wear suit and once you let them in they refuse to leave unless you subscribe. One of them is usually called Elder Elmer or such like, but the other is not called younger anything. Sometimes they they argue at my doorsteps, with the other prophets, who have build a Watchtower, are expecting End of the World any day now and are looking for 60,000 odd people to join the in the Kingdom of Heaven. The rest of souls will not fit and have to go to hell.
They convinced my good looking neighbor to join them and ever since I dare not approach her for the pleasures of the flesh, for fear of receiving some mumbo jumbo instead.
They are right, we are here to suffer. Overseas trip to see some heathen will have to do.