10- You spent Sunday night in jail for cow tipping... with your Oldsmobile. 9- Thanks to you, Jack Daniel's stock is up 15¼ since Friday. 8- Boris Yeltsin called personally to ask you to slow down on the Stoli. 7- You're now the proud inventor of the "Slim Jim": Ultra Slim-Fast shakes made with Jim Beam. 6- Absolut wants to run an ad featuring a picture of your liver in the shape of a bottle. 5- Without fail, dry cleaner employees greet you with, "Hey, it's Vomit Man!" 4- The doorman asks for your ID just to see how long it'll take you to find your pants. 3- Out of panic, your liver leaps out of your abdominal cavity and into a pan of frying onions. 2- Worried friends call Monday morning to make sure you returned the goat. 1- You're now sober enough to realize "Drink Gin and Dry" is a slogan and not a personal challenge.
