yes, you can both form a SMSF - each of you will have your own entitlements as members though, it won't all get merged together
the $200,000 is largely a myth these days, depending on how your smsf is set up and run. a lot on this forum use esuperfund.. i am one of them.. my wife and i set up our fund with less than $30k combined and (having ridden the recovery) are light years ahead of where we would be had we stayed with our normal funds