Twelve ways to save the Ashes
* Play French cricket instead
* Blindfold all Australian batsmen
* Give England 20 fielders with baseball gloves
* Allow the Poms to pick any Australian backpacker in London
* Sack England and play Scotland and Guernsey in alternating series
* Restrict Australia to one innings
* Give England bowlers six stumps to aim at
* One hand one bounce for England, tip and run for Australia
* Restrict Glenn McGrath to underarm
* Australia to field for England
* Australia to bowl for England
* Australia to bat for England
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12 ways for Poms to save the Ashes
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