15c gone, page-15

wedge for tacklebox

Jason Stevens on top and getting the hand in
where it's not welcomed. Trent Barrett is underneath.


Barrett gets up wearing a wedgie thanks to the
weirdness of Jason Stevens.

...

Jason Stevens sells the Wedgie
By dejaco
Monday, 11 August 2003

Jason Stevens, has taken the leap from the sporting world into business circles by revealing he is about to follow fellow Aussies Kylie Minogue and Elle McPherson by launching his own range of signature underwear. Jason has indicated he plans to launch his range, to be known as ‘Wedgie Intimates’ in the coming weeks. Dissatisfied with the failure of current manufacturers to “innovate and move with the times”, Jason says, “I plan to really stretch the boundaries of underwear and hopefully go where no man has gone before. I believe that the average man on the street will really warm to this range and hopefully one day I can look back and say that every Australian has enjoyed a Jason Steven’s Wedgie™ during their lifetime.
While keeping the exact style of the new underwear under wraps Jason has divulged a few snippets of detail.“The first thing you notice when you try my new Wedgie™” Jason said, “is the strength of the waist elastic." While resisting the urge to include a handle in the underwear, Jason says the elastic " is much stronger and allows a firm grip to really be taken”. Jason lamented that in his experience “the strength of the upper elastic is way too brittle and liable to snap at the first hint of a decent stretch. It is so frustrating to feel the elastic come away in your hand”. He is also proud of his revolutionary design, which he claims, “is guaranteed to ride up your ars under any conditions”.
But Jason says modestly that he can’t take all the credit for his new innovations. He says he would not have been able to get by without help from Manly legend John Hopoate, who he says “really understands the ins and outs of a pair of jocks and has really had a hand in my undys from day one. He’s really an inspiration and would always give me a gentle prod in the right direction when I was losing sight of the bigger picture”. Brisbane Broncos hardman Shane Webcke has also helped out in a big way. Jason say of Webcke, “Webbie really helped me out by volunteering to experience a wedgie™ under match conditions last time we lined up against the Broncos. Together we gave them a real hitout and while Shane came off with sore nuts and a chafing rash in his ars crack he really liked them and has encouraged me continue on with the Wedgie™.”
Jason hopes that fellow NRL players will really get behind the initiative and plans to give each player a complimentary Wedgie™ when the range is released in coming weeks. “Word of mouth is the best form of advertisement and I think this will be the best way to really make a good crack of it” says Jason.
Meanwhile, in related news, injured Roosters forward Craig Fitzgibbon has called for better underwear for players following an embarrassing incident in State of Origin 1 which saw the entire contents of his package televised to an estimated 1.5 million Australian viewers, plus an estimated 2 million viewers through Fox Sports in Asia, Europe, and United Kingdom, ESPN in North America and associated stations throughout the world.” The incident, which saw Channel Nine change the rating of State of Origin II from G to Mature Audience, has left the 26-year-old Roosters star perplexed. “When I received a letter from a 42 year mother of two in Chorrillos, Peru asking if I would like to share photos with her and her husband”, I knew that action needed to be taken.” said Fitzgibbon. “I will certainly be giving Jason a call” he remarked when hearing of the new line of underwear, “to see if his Wedgies™ are all they are cracked up to be”.




as you were squirms...