"Get it tattooed on her face so she sees it every morning"Was...

"Get it tattooed on her face so she sees it every morning"

Was the heading of a press release from the office of Federal Treasurer, Mr Jim "Smiley" Chalmers.

Due back from a tour of the best restaurants in Beijing, where he had friendly meetings with senior Chinese party officials and leaders of all the principal exporters, he is expected to have urgent consultations with his main party supporters and experienced numbers men.

"All just routine matters" he said as he pushed his way in front of the cameras. "I will be concentrating on getting the economy in the best shape it's ever been and looking after the welfare of all workers. Rumours? What rumours? You've been watching too much Sky News old son"