40 REASONS WHY A CUCUMBER IS BETTER TH) A MAN1. The average...

40 REASONS WHY A CUCUMBER IS BETTER TH) A MAN
1. The average cucumber is at least six inches long.
2, Cucumbers stay hard for a week.
3. A cucumber won’t tell you that size doesn’t count.
4, Cucumbers never get too excited.
5. Cucumbers are easy to pick up.
6. You can fondle cucumbers in a supermarket ..,.,and you know how firm it is before you take one home.
7. A cucumber will always respect you in the morning.
8. You can go to a movis with a cucumber and see the movies.
9. At a drive—in you can stay in the front seat a cucumber can always wait until you get home,
10. A cucumber won’t ask “Am I the first?”
ll. A cucumber won’t tel]. the other cucumbers that you’re not avirgin anymore.
12. A cucumber doesn’t care if you were ever a virgin.
13, Cucumbers won’t make you wear kinky clothes or go to bed with your boots on.
14. You can have as many cucumbers as you want.
15. You only eat cucumbers when you feel like it.
16. Cucumbers aren’t jealous of your gynecologist, ski instructor or hairdresser.
17. Cucumbers aren’t into meaningful discussions.
18, A cucumber will never make a scene because there are other cucumbers in the fridcje.
19. No matter how old you are, you can always get a fresh cucumber.
20. A cucumber won’t care what time of the month it is,
21, With a cucumber you never have to say you’re sorry,
22. Cucumbers don’t leave whisker burns, fall asleep on your chest, or drool on the pilow.
23, Cucumbers can stay up all night and you won’t have to sleep in the wet sjxt.
24. Cucumbers don’t leave you wondering for a month.
25, Cucumbers never answer your phone or borrow your car.
26, A cucumber won’t eat all your food and drink all your liquor.
27, Cucumbers don’t leave dirty shorts on the floor.
28. With a cucumber the toilet seat ia always the way you left it,
29, A cucumber will never leave you fort—
a) another wnan
b) another man
c) another cucumber
30. You always know where your cucumber has been,
31, You won’t find Out later that your cucumber:—
a) is married
b) is on penicillin
c) likes you but loves your brother
32, You don’t have to wait until half time to talk to your cucumber.
33, Cucumbers never expect you to have little cucumbers,
34. It’s easy to drop a cucumber.
35, A cucumber will never eat crackers in bed.
36. Cucumbers don’t leave a funny taste in your mouth.
37. A cucumber doesn’t come home drunk after a night out with the cucumbers,
311. There is never any threat of your cucumber being hxxxxexual.
39. Cucumbers don’t steal all the covers, and will stay with. you until morning (it you want).
40, No matter how you slice it, you can have your cake and eat it too,
b