My wife asked me why I was whispering. I said I was afraid of Mark Zuckerberg listening in.
She laughed, I laughed, Siri laughed and Alexa laughed.
...................
My manager called me on Friday and said, "Mac, where have you been all week?"
I said, "I've been here all week, you just haven't seen me. I now identify as invisible".
"I'm TRANSparent. My pronoun is who and my Interrogative pronoun is where?"
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This guy sat down beside me on a train. After a good chat he showed me a photo of his wife. He said, "She's a beautiful woman, hey?" I said," mate, if you think she's beautiful, you should see my missus!" He said, why, is she a stunner also?"
I said, " nah mate, she's an optometrist!"
I asked my daughter to hand me the phone book. She laughed, called me a dinosaur and then she handed me her iPhone.
Well the spider is dead, her phone is smashed and my daughter is furious.
....................
I can remember when we could say how long a good conversation was by how many cups of tea we had.
I can also remember when I measured how long a trip was by how much of a six-pack I sank.
