A GRANDMOTHER'S ADVICE
My grandmother died in 1945, but her birthday is coming up, and that always
causes me to reminisce.
The long walks we used to take to the store on Crawford Road, the quarters
she gave me for meaningless jobs like pulling weeds or washing the sidewalk...
Those gems were all good, but the one I remember most, the jewel in the crown
of grandmotherly advice, occurred when I was only about 10.
We were sitting in a park having just finished collecting some 40 soda bottles for
the deposit money on a beautiful spring day.
She told me that one day, I would find a wonderful woman and start my own family.
'And always remember this thing,' she said. 'Be sure you marry a woman with small hands.'
'How come, Grandma?' I asked her.
She answered in her soft Irish voice..
'Makes your dick look bigger.'
Kinda brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it
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