a poem about property investors

Thought I'd re-post an old classic which perfectly sums up the typical Australian property investor.


Ode To The Property Investor


I once heard a way to be financially free, with minimal effort as well,
The seminar speaker explained it to me, the rat-race I'll wave farewell.

I am much smarter than the average Joe, because my books told me so,
You can never lose with bricks & mortar, that's a secret that no one else knows.

From zero to fifty-thousand homes, in less than seven years,
I've piggy-backed my loans on loans, but this could never end in tears.

House prices will rise almost every year, like nothing else has before,
Because 'Australia is different', 'It's supply and demand', a Million I'll make for sure.

Through the magical gift of negative gearing, I've always paid less tax,
Even though I had to make a loss, I know I'll get half of that back.

But now all good things must come to an end, never thought I'd see the day,
With property weak and house prices smashed, I hope this will end OK.

If I never sell I never lose, it will go back up one day,
Then the call came from the bank manager, a top-up I now must pay.

I have no equity, I have no cash, how stupid could I have been,
This hard situation I never could fathom, nor could I have ever foreseen.

And now I've lost the family home, my wife and kids as well,
Even though they've never seen me cry, they know I've been through hell.

I lived in hope house prices would rise, strong capital gains was a must,
Now spruikers and speakers and real estate agents, those snakes I never will trust.