a remarkable black eye

Two guys at the office coffee machine in the morning were having a chat. One had a remarkable black eye.

"Hell what happened to you mate - That's a real shiner!"

"Last night my girlfriend asked me how many women I've made love to.

I said, 'I really don't want to answer that love, you know I've had a past and I don't want to upset you"

"Oh come on" she said, "I can handle it!"

"So I had to sit there and count them all."

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, you, 10, 11, 12.