We got hit as a children by mum, and she was always mad as...

We got hit as a children by mum, and she was always mad as hell.
Then I got hit as an adult (not by mum) but it made me fear people who got mad.

I decided I would not hit when I had Son, instead when he was playing up...I would firmly tell him to stop or he would be punished, and then stuck to it.

One time when he was in prep school he wanted to take his remote car for show and tell.
It was expensive (his dad bought it for him) and I said "no" and why.
Well one day I was cleaning out his school bag... and there it was broken. (the look on his face was priceless).

I told him again what he did wrong and sat him in his room with paper and pencil and he had to write 100 times....I will listen to mum when she tells me something.

I just don't understand what we are trying to teach them.

We are not allowed to hit our friends, spouse, parents, boss, in fact anyone. Why children???

There are much better controlled, calm methods of bring up a child with discipline.