...and this article is from NEWS Corp, so for all your right wingers this must be the truth:
POT, kettle. Snout, trough.
That just about sums up the litany of expense-related accounting clangers that a conga line of Coalition MPs from the Prime Minister down have 'fessed up to in the past couple of weeks.
The highlight of the born-to-be-entitled approach taken when it comes to having the taxpayer bankroll your jollies was undoubtedly the $12,000 claimed by three then-opposition MPs to attend an Indian wedding in Hyderabad as guests of billionaire mining magnate Gina Rinehart.
The 2011 wedding - attended by 10,000 guests and described by The Times of India as "one of the biggest and fattest weddings" - was that of Gina's business partner's granddaughter.
Gina's entourage included Barnaby Joyce, Julie Bishop and Teresa Gambaro, all of whom were flown from Perth on Gina's private jet, but then made their own way back (via Malaysia in Barnaby's case) and claimed the costs of the travel as "overseas study" allowances. As you do.
For his part Barnaby, in his report back on his study tour, conceded that "My study period in this country was only of one day's duration but it was of great assistance in familiarising myself with Malaysia." He then went on to provide the sort of insights that a high-school geography student could glean from spending 10 minutes reading Wikipedia.
Tellingly, then-resources minister Martin Ferguson was also invited along for the junket, but deemed it "not appropriate" to accept.
No such qualms on the conservative side of politics where it's the weddings, parties and woo-hoo brigade and pass the expenses claim form.
This, of course, would be the same Barnaby Joyce who recently made headlines after he and colleague George Brandis attended the wedding of radio demagogue Michael Smith, and decided to touch up the public purse for their troubles given a mate's nuptials amount to "official business".
Networking while tearing up a dance floor can be expensive business. Come to think of it maybe Billy Idol could rework his hit song along the lines of "It's nice day, for a working wedding ..."
They've since repaid the money claimed.
So too has our Prime Minister, who yesterday afternoon revealed from Bali that he had repaid the expenses he claimed for attending former speaker (and former good mate) Peter Slipper's wedding - that would be the same Peter Slipper who Abbott and co hounded to the near grave in pursuit of allegedly questionable claims while in Opposition.
Since September 7 the irony fairy has been sprinkling karma dust in liberal doses.
The Slipper "oops'' from our new PM follows his decision in recent days to write another cheque to hand back about $1100 he claimed a few years back to attend former Liberal MP Sophie Mirabella's wedding in Wangaratta.
Actually, truth be told, I'd want to be pretty well paid to endure that gig, but a couple of questions do arise here. Firstly, why anyone would spend $1100 to go to Wangaratta in the first place is beyond me and, secondly, what the hell are these people thinking?
It doesn't matter how "ambiguous" the guidelines are in relation to what may constitute legitimate expenditure in the course of parliamentary business, claiming buckets of cash to party with your mates simply does not pass the smell test.
In fact, to we ordinary mortals - regardless of whatever definitional technicalities you may like to use to obfuscate the issue - it just screams "rort".
I can imagine the laughter in the News Corp accounts department if I tried to lodge an expenses claim for hosting a Sunday afternoon barbie for the neighbours on the basis it was "networking with contacts". In fact I'd probably be audited for my troubles.
It is also worth noting that in the above cases the money was allowed to be repaid, presumably under the Minchin protocol (after former Liberal senator Nick Minchin who was allowed to pay thousands of incorrectly claimed travel expenses claimed during the 1996 election campaign).
This was not an option available to Slipper who is still being pursued through the courts for $900 of dodgy cab docket claims because a police complaint was made by a "third party".
Abbott, meanwhile, repaid $9400 in travel-related expenses claimed while promoting his Battlelines book and is apparently an enthusiastic claimer of whatever's on offer even while ostensibly engaging in charitable pursuits.
Indeed Abbott has claimed thousands of dollars for "official business" expenses while on his annual "Pollie Pedal" rides, the attitude presumably being that charity can begin with the taxpayer and thank you very much for coming.
If nothing else we can take succour from the fact that when it comes to having the hand in the honey pot our Prime Minister leads by example.
What really sticks in the craw with the entitlement mentality though is the rank hypocrisy on display. While in opposition the likes of George Brandis pursued allegations of expenses malfeasance against the likes of Slipper and Craig Thomson with a pious zealotry that would not have been out of place during the Salem witch trials. As Brandis himself said in relation to Thomson and the Health Services Union these sort of revelations "rip the scab off a whole course of conduct . . ."
Now, as it inevitably does with a change of government, the focus of attention is shifting and karma is coming home to roost . . . right next to the trough.
