haha Facthunter.
I’ve seen that movie.
And since I’m partial to fairy tales - here goes.
Sleeping Galaxy and The Seven Shorters
Catman, Mac, Evil Ninja, Dope Investor, Unhappy, The Viking and Delayed Dock
Once upon a time Galaxy woke up in the ASX Forest and suddenly she was 5 times taller.
The Seven Shorters didn’t quite know what to do.
She said she wouldn’t do the cleaning up after them any more and they had to find someone else to cook.
Evil Ninja tried throwing rocks at her but she was already too tall for him to hit.
He sulked quietly and all the Angry Birds stopped twittering in the forest.
Mac said she’d never find enough to eat to keep growing like that.
She told him she had 2 more magic pills and she hadn’t even started.
Catman said he’d scratch her if she would just bend over a little.
She put some poisoned food down for him and spewed all over the carpet.
Unhappy said she’d trodden on the house and demolished the extension he was planning. She told him that she was sorry about the extension and that she’d build him a new house when she had doubled in size.
Delayed Dock said that his magic calculator would mean she was a lot smaller in the rear view mirror. She bought him a better mirror. One made by Mitsubishi.
The Viking sulked because he was in prison and Dope Investor said he’d come back and work at the mine if Galaxy could fix him something good to eat… the munchies were coming on hard.
So Galaxy said screw these guys, always complaining about everything - and drop punted them all over the wall into the neighbouring Speculative Lithium Kingdom where they lived unhappily ever after watching re-runs on the tv and occasionally looking over the horizon at Galaxy moving around, building stuff.
Eventually, Prince Carbonate rode up on his black horse, Tesla and asked to marry her at the top of Salty Mountain.
Crush the one-eyed ogre watched them ride up to Salt Mountain.
He said that the mountain wasn’t really a mountain. And they weren’t riding up.
It was actually an optical illusion.
It only looked like mountain because they were all upside down - it was actually a ditch and the horses were actually dragging them anyway and they’d hurt their dumb heads.
Eventually he decided he was wrong, and that he had been hanging upside down for too long himself, and didn’t want to miss the marriage and he paid taxi rates to join them at the top.
They opened a cafe at the top of the mountain called The Bull in the China Shop.
It was run by a 200 year old wizard called the Profit of Doom.
Galaxy and Prince Carbonate had their honey moon in Canada to go bear hunting. They shot so many bears that holiday that they mounted them on solar panels around their castle to be a future warning to any trespassers.
Then they settled down and had stacks of big fat kids who all grew into such big giants that they ate everyone in the Speculative Lithium Kingdom for breakfast.
The End
Have a Happy Easter everyone
