Albo Shoots Gun

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    Albo Shoots Gun Indiscriminately Into Crowd During Press Club Address To Get Some Air Time


    Albo Shoots Gun Indiscriminately Into Crowd During Press Club Address To Get Some Air Time — The Betoota Advocate



    The media blackout of the Opposition continues today even after leader Anthony Albanese fired 12 rounds into the Press Club audience in an effort to gain some media coverage of the speech.

    Six people are currently fighting for life in various Canberra and Sydney hospitals this evening after being hit by stray bullets fired from Mr Albanese’s personal Glock 17.

    However, no major media outlet has picked up on the mass shooting.

    “I just think it’s piss poor form,” said Albo to this masthead via telephone.

    “That I can deliver a great speech to a crowd of the best journalists and reporters in the country and nothing. I get no media pick up at all. Even after I let a few rounds off into the crowd. Sure, they all scurried and ran for their lives but come on. Nothing,”

    “Every news bulletin in the country ran with that blithering moron in a brand new Sharks hat trying to cover his arse. It’s not easy, it is?”

    The Advocate reached out to the Australian Federal Police, who are responsible for general policing duties in the ACT, whether charges would be pressed against Mr Albanese for shooting an unregistered firearm into a sea of people.

    “We were unaware that such a thing happened,” said the AFP spokesman.

    “But rest assured, we will look into it.”
 
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