all puns intended, page-2

Excellent Seagull,

Now here's some for you...

A little girl and her dad are walking along on the beach when they happen upon a dead seagull lying on the wet sand. The little girl looked at her father with big tearful eyes and sobbed, "daddy, what happened to the little bird?". "Don't worry", replied the father with a confident tone, "the bird died and went to heaven". This didn't seem to console the child. So when the father asked what was wrong, the daughter replied, "did God throw him back?".

Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful seagull, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk.

Q. Why do sea-gulls fly over the sea?

A. Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels!


A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook, and an eye patch.

The seaman asks, "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?" The pirate replies, "We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off."

"Wow!" said the seaman. "What about your hook"? "Well", replied the pirate, "We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of the enemy cut my hand off."

"Incredible!" remarked the seaman. "How did you get the eye patch"? "A seagull dropping fell into my eye," replied the pirate.

"You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?," the sailor asked
incredulously. "Well," said the pirate, "it was my first day with my hook"

...

Cheers,
Tangrams