am07s war on everything.

I rang Centro earlier posing as a shareholder (see previous post). Didn't get too far. Thought I'd ring back and try a different approach.


Lucy: Welcome to Centro, this is Lucy. How can I help you?

Am07: Hello, it’s Warren Buffett here. I was wondering if I can speak to someone about buying some shopping centres please.

Lucy: I’m sorry, who?

Am07: Warren Buffett. World’s greatest investor…. Second richest man on the planet. I play bridge with Bill Gates.

Lucy: Erm..

Am07: What about Jeremy Mead from Lazards? Is he there? Tell him I’m interested in investing,

Lucy: Mr Mead? … just a moment…… Yes, I’ve got his number. I’ll put you through.



(Call transfer…. Ring ring)

Jen: Welcome to strategic planning. This is Jen.
Am07: Hello Jen, is Jeremy there please?
Jen: Can I say who’s calling?
Am07: Yes, it’s Warren. He knows what it’s about.
Jen: Just a moment please Warren.



(Call transfer…. Ring ring)

Jeremy Mead: Hello, this is Jeremy speaking.

Am07: (Best Omaha accent) Hello Jeremy. It’s Warren Buffett here. Wanted to know if I can buy some of your shopping centres. I’ve got a truckload of cash and I hear the weather is really good down under.

JM: (sighs) Is this a joke?

Am07: Joke? … Joke? That’s no way to speak to the Oracle of Omaha. I’m dead serious. I hear you are up sub-prime creek and I can lend you a paddle.

JM: Listen, I appreciate your call but I really don’t have time for this.

Am07: Wait… just hear me out. You know I like quick and easy transactions and from what I hear, you gotta find something to say to the market before 10am tomorrow. This is a win-win.. a no brainer. I can send you the money through Internet banking – what’s your BSB and account number? Do you accept American Express? (sings) From me to you, 3.2… billion.

JM: Jeesus… Look I have to go. (Pauses)… hold on a minute. Is that you Am07?

Am07: No.

JM: Yes it is. We told you last time, any more prank calls and we’re getting on to the police.

Am07: Look, I am a legitimate reporter just wanting to get some facts. You wouldn’t want me telling my readers and the thousands of investors who have lost so much money that you weren’t prepared to answer a few simple questions would you?

JM: Simple questions? (pause) Look, you have 2 minutes to ask whatever legitimate questions you like. If I can answer them I will. I don’t have time for your stupidity.

Am07: OK, fine. Perhaps you can tell me whether this is true: I heard that one of the Centro directors and a couple of uni mates from Clayton Utz had been razzing it up in the pub next door to ASIC in Sydney all afternoon last Wednesday. As they staggered home p*ssed they saw that twit reporter from The Australian in the ASIC lobby and decided to pay a trick on him. Apparently they stood within earshot and started talking about Centro being summoned to ASIC just to see if he would fall for it.

JM: No, the ASIC visit was absolutely legitimate. It’s perfectly normal to meet with the regulator in situations like this.

Am07: You sure? Sounds like Centro had been a naughty boy and had to go see the headmaster.

JM: Don't be ridiculous. The way it was reported in The Australian was unfortunate.

Am07: Fair enough. Question 2. The Net Tangible Assets for CNP have been quoted as $2.29.

JM: Yes, that’s right.

Am07: Is this $2.29 per-share or $2.29 for the whole company?

JM: (Sighs) The NTA was reported on a per-share basis. Look, I am really busy and don’t have time for this.

Am07: So the entire company is worth more than $2.29?

JM: Of course it is.

Am07: Phew, that’s reassuring to everyone. Can you give us some idea whether the whole company it’s worth significantly more than $2.29 or is $2.29 sort-of at the bottom end of the range?

JM: Look, I have to go.

Am07: OK, OK, final couple of questions. Is there actually anyone at Centro who understands the complex structure of the company?

JM: Yes, many people. It’s not particularly complicated really. You obviously don’t though.

Am07: Nope, not a clue. Can you do me a favour? When you announce the carve-up of the Centro group to the ASX tomorrow morning, can you put a couple of slides in the preso explaining the structure to the rest of us?

JM: There is plenty of public information available to explain the structure of the company. I’ll take your comments on board though.

Am07: So you are announcing a carve-up in the morning?

JM: I can’t comment on that.

Am07: What about a tinsy-winsy hint? The market’s closed now, nobody will mind.

JM; Absolutely not.

Am07: OK, here’s the deal. We’ll agree a secret code so you can tell me without getting caught. If the news tomorrow is good, just hang up now. If the news is bad, just say “Look, I have to go.”

JM: Look, I have to go. Goodbye. ---click---

Am07: Hold on! Is it true that Chairman Brian Healey’s alzheimer’s is so bad he thinks he’s a turtle?

(pause)

Am07: Hello?

(pause)

Am07: Argh. Bloody Telstra.


....guess we'll have to wait and see what tomorrow brings.