And the golden goose award goes to

The directors of Horizon Minerals, who despite no longer talking to anyone and having a resource base of 1.25 million ounces of Gold managed to drop their company’s share price to a record low in a week where gold reached a record high in Aussie dollar terms. When contacted for comment a spokesperson advised that the directors were currently in a disoriented state near Greenbushes looking for A pegmatite whilst being surrounded by Mary Jane plants. They did however put out an urgent request for an air drop of a box of “munchies”, a new bong and a carton of bush chooks. They would provide commentary after consulting Piggy at FMR.