Hah you are actually revealing the source that works you with...

Hah you are actually revealing the source that works you with their foot Rolling just by this post. IMHO you really need to see who is behind your thoughts...from where I sit and observe some training in what is actually running your thoughts needs some serious attention.
Smarts you don't have you have something fooling you into believing you are smart and they are running the show.
Some good self help books ad perhaps a year or two in a far off yoga retreat in India (Osho?) will help to pull you back from the brink in time for you to start recognizing that your thoughts are not you they are simply something to observe same as your body isn't you...it is simply the vehicle. Go find yourself and get in touch with the real you and while you are at it enjoy hauling yourself back into the flow of goodness. Try to observe what energy is operating your current life.
Nastiness has its own reward...you are a master at it. Go away you polluting person and allow us to enjoy our interactions on this forum without having to be dragged into your polluting energy field when we read your posts.
Think about it...if you are capable of thought devoid of darkness! On ignore you go...