Totally with you M75 on the "unintelligilble gibberish" and strange, unusual/quaint/inappropriate overuse of "upon". (But slow down and watch your own typos - discivered !!!) I once volunteered (to no avail) to proof read their announcements for them.
If anyone can proffer a plain English translation of last Friday's gibberish I for one could be most enlightened and grateful.
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