Reinterpretation of my school reports has identified that I am not actually a loser. If we count my marks from 100 backwards rather than from 0 upwards it appears I am a pretty smart cookie regularly scoring 80% or more. Further exams are being mobilised to prove how bright I am. In the meantime please ignore the many extravagant promises I have made about the projects I am working on which have come to nothing, as this recent re-interpretation of my abilities signals an optimistic new dawn by which we advance into the sunny uplands of copper prosperity.
Sorry burned too many times to trust (actually that sounds like Mrs Eagle, but I digress....).
Reinterpretation of my school reports has identified that I am...
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