Answered prayers

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    The priest asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers. Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium.
    She said: "Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle accident and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him."
    (Muffled gasps came from the pews as the men in the congregation imagined the pain that poor Tom must have experienced.)
    "Tom was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place."
    (Again, the men in the congregation cringe and squirm uncomfortably.)
    "Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Tom is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely."
    (All the men sigh with unified relief.)


    The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.
    A man slowly stood up and walked just as slowly to the podium.


    He said, "I'm Tom Smith." The entire congregation held its breath.
    "I just want to tell my wife – the word is sternum
 
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