I don't often post on hotcopper BUT please do a bit of historic research. Even if your own situation seems to indicate that you are being bullied, men have a history of having dominated households, wives; property of their wives, children were his etc. etc. hence the shortage of female leaders. Sometimes women were the power behind the throne, or the helper to the scientist and never recognised for their capabilities; Einstein's wife is an example for that. She has never been recognised of ever having made any contribution to his theories, even though she was the better mathematician; so told by the great man himself.
I have a family history where one of my grandfathers was so feared that when he returned from the pub, the whole family disappeared in hiding places, because he would just hit anybody he got hold of. They all survived, the males did not become bullies, the girls were all strong, but there was a lot of jockeying for positions and jealousy within that generation (particularly the women), never having seen fair play, or being praised, just now and then a bit of favoritism for the prettiest one (who turned out to be an absolute bitch to her brothers and sisters) etc.
My own father, even though he worked dutifully was so addicted to alcohol, that he liquified half his income on the weekend. My mother used to have to pick him up from the pub and try and get some money off him, so he wouldn't waste it all. She also worked full-time from home, because his left-overs were not enough to keep us. I didn't get the education I craved, because of my silly Dad, who I actually never resented, but just kind of dismissed. I still do not know what kind of a man he really was, because of the alcoholic haze he spent his weekends in, but I never hated him, I rather pitied him.
Just be honest: you picked badly, maybe you thought you could 'play the field' and tried and tried and then got stuck with someone who just outwitted you, playing he same game as you. I found myself a true companion as I was to him, unfortunately he died from a heart attack in his fifties, partly engendered by jealousy and nasty games at work - all male-generated.
The law discovered by Darwin 'survival of the fittest' also applies to the female of the species, possibly even more so, because she needs to fend for her offspring; so don't be surprised if the claws come out now and then.
Choose wisely in the first place and really know the person you are planning to spend your lives with. If the situation is really bad, talk it through with an independent person keeping tempers cool (not necessarily a counsellor!) Learn to talk to one another, analyse bad situations as they arise and make up.
Never go to sleep without making up with your partner, you don't know if you (or they) are going to see another day and then the regrets will eat you up.
I have met a number of men since my husband's demise and the resentment in some of them, because 'she' left them, or they lost their job, or the boasting (of a sexual nature etc.) would fill books. I decided I'd rather live with my good memories of my husband and now live alone, have lots of friends and just shake my head now and then when I watch one particular couple 'play-fight it out to the death' at every dinner party, but they seem to enjoy this. I refuse lifts in their car, because I cannot stand the way the husband speaks to the wife. In my circle of friends it does seem to be the male who is troublesome, sorry guys. Maybe I mix in the wrong circles.
Please analyse your problem, if you think it can be helped by talking it through, do so, if not leave, and remember human relationships are never a static thing, they are never easy and they deserve to be worked on and treasured.
