Attitudes towards female posters on HC

Originally posted by Parsifal ↑

sometimes it’s clear and sometimes people indicate their gender. Btw often there is a distinct style difference between males and females. But usually it’s the abusive person who decides what sex/gender it is they are railing against.
actually there are some pretty clear social standards. There are also behaviours that are more effective than others for building good relationships

maybe it’s helpful to look at what’s defined as family violence. In fact hotcopper might even consider this a part of their guidelines

(behaviour that )..
(i) is physically or sexually abusive; or
(ii) is emotionally or psychologically abusive; or
(iii) is economically abusive; or
(iv) is threatening; or
(v) is coercive; or
(vi) in any other way controls or dominates ....

there has been a lot of research done on how abuse and power work. A lot is known about the patterns of behaviour of abusive people. There is language that clearly shows abusive characteristics. there are also known language patterns that are indicative of angry people.

given that you are keen for a free and frank exchange of views I can’t help wondering why you regularly descend into telling people to move on - or worse - when they disagree with your perspective. In fact I wonder why you labelled me a fingerwagger if alternative opinions are so very important to you. I wonder why you got stuck into batboy for expressing his view of abuse.

I’m happy to tell you why it’s courageous to make a stand against abuse. Because when they do others are quick to abuse them. It is of course quite possible that you can’t distinguish abuse and think it’s normal, unemotional language with no intention to hurt or belittle or diminish. Quite possible.
one of the things that shows abuse is to attack the person rather than demonstrate that they have said is inaccurate or flawed in someway.

as for what constitutes unhealthy I think you might find attendance at a men’s behaviour change program instructive.

oh by the way I’m not of the female persuasion. I am female.

Expand

Hi Parsifal, re " It is of course quite possible that you can’t distinguish abuse and think it’s normal, unemotional language with no intention to hurt or belittle or diminish"

Yes it's interesting, if you read back through this thread how much of this type of behaviour can also be attributed to those that were calling for "respect". Seems it doesn't need to work both ways?

Even your own quote seems to imply some sort of belittling of the poster you are referring to, whether that was your intention or not, the implication is there.

Have a pleasant day.