aussie ventriloquist in nz

  1. 420 Posts.
    An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his veranda patting his dog.

    He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Kiwi

    'G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?'

    Villager: 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie.'

    Ventriloquist: 'Hello dog, how's it going mate?'

    Dog: 'Yeah, doin' all right.'

    Kiwi: (look of extreme shock)

    Ventriloquist: 'Is this villager your owner?' (pointing at the Villager)

    Dog: 'Yep'

    Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat you?'

    Dog: 'Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me
    great food And takes me to the lake once a week to play.'

    Kiwi: (look of utter disbelief)

    Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your horse?'

    Kiwi: 'Uh, the horse doesn't talk either...I think.'

    Ventriloquist: 'Hey horse, how's it going?'

    Horse: 'Cool'

    Kiwi: (absolutely dumbfounded)

    Ventriloquist: 'Is this your owner?' (Pointing at the villager)

    Horse: 'Yep'

    Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?

    Horse: 'Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly,
    Brushes me down often and keeps me in the shed to protect me
    from the Elements.'

    Kiwi: (total look of amazement)

    Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your sheep?'

    Kiwi: (in a panic) '…….. The sheep's a f*****g liar!!!'

 
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