Twelve years ago there was an CEO so exceedingly fond of new medical devices that he spent all his shareholders money on developing them. He cared nothing about communicating to his shareholders, going to the theatre in his Bentley, or going for a ride in his Corporate Jet, except to show off his new devices. He had a device for every medical situation, and instead of saying, as one might, about any other CEO, The Unilife Board, always said. "The CEO's in his a creative mood."
In the great city of York, Pennsylvania where he lived, life was always gay and happy. Every day many strangers came to town to marvel at the CEO's devices, and among them one day came three wise men from AMMGEN. They let it be known they were Billionaire Business Buddies, and they said they could help commercialise the most magnificent devices imaginable. Not only were their devices innovative and patented but would make profits of north of 40% and that anyone that could not see that was unusually stupid.
"Those would be just the devices for me," thought the CEO. "If I develop them I would be able to discover which men in my empire are unfit for their posts. And I could tell the three wise Billionaire Business Buddies from the fools. Yes, I certainly must get some of the stuff for me right away." He paid the Three wise Billionaire Business Buddies a large chunk of his company to start work at once.
They set up two production lines and pretended to manufacture, though there was nothing on the production lines. All the engineers, designers and family members were employed at top market rates to get the job done.
"I'd like to know how those three wise Billionaire Business Buddies are getting on with the development," the CEO thought, but he felt slightly uncomfortable when he remembered that those who were unfit for their position would not be able to see the progress. It couldn't have been that he doubted himself, yet he thought he'd rather send someone else to see how things were going. All the Unilife Board knew about the devices, and all were impatient to find out how stupid their shareholders were.
I'll send my honest old mate Uncle Keith to the three wise Billionaire Business Buddies, the CEO decided. "He'll be the best one to tell me how the devices look, for he's a sensible man and no one does his duty better."
So the honest old Uncle Keith went to the room where the three wise Billionaire Business Buddies sat working away at their empty boardroom.
"Heaven help me," he thought as his eyes flew wide open, "I can't see anything at all". But he did not say so.
The three wise Billionaire Business Buddies begged him to be so kind as to come near to approve the excellent devices. They pointed to the empty production line, and the poor old Uncle Keith stared as hard as he dared. He couldn't see anything, because there was nothing to see. "Heaven have mercy," he thought. "Can it be that I'm a fool? I'd have never guessed it, and not a soul must know. Am I unfit to be the A~lans Uncle Keith It would never do to let on that I can't see the devices."
"Don't hesitate to tell us what you think of it," said one of the three wise Billionaire Business Buddies
"Oh, it's beautiful -it's enchanting." The old Uncle Keith peered through his spectacles. "Such a device!" I'll be sure to tell the CEO how delighted I am with it."
"We're pleased to hear that," the three wise Billionaire Business Buddies said. They proceeded to name all the devices and to explain the intricate operation of each. The old Uncle Keith paid the closest attention, so that he could tell it all to the CEO. And so he did.
The three wise Billionaire Business Buddies at once asked for more money, more shares and options, to get on with the manufacturing. But it all went into their pockets. Not a dime went into the production lines, though they worked at their manufacturing as hard as ever.
The CEO presently sent another trustworthy official to see how the work progressed and how soon it would be ready. The same thing happened to him that had happened to Uncle Keith. He looked and he looked, but as there was nothing to see in the production lines he couldn't see anything.
"Isn't it a beautiful device?" the three wise Billionaire Business Buddies asked him, as they displayed and described their imaginary device.
"I know I'm not stupid," the man thought, "so it must be that I'm unworthy of my good office. That's strange. I mustn't let anyone find it out, though." So he praised the material he did not see. He declared he was delighted with the beautiful devices.. To the CEO he said, "It held me spellbound."
All the Board was talking of this splendid device, and the CEO wanted to see it for himself while it was still in the production rooms. Attended by a band of chosen Board Members, among whom were his two old trusted officials-the ones who had been to the three wise Billionaire Business Buddies. He found them manufacturing with might and main, but without a device in their production room.
What a design!" They pointed to the empty production lines, each supposing that the others could see the stuff.
"What's this?" thought the CEO. "I can't see anything. This is terrible!
Am I a fool? Am I unfit to be the CEO? What a thing to happen to me of all people! - Oh! It's very pretty," he said. "It has my highest approval." And he nodded approbation at the empty production room. Nothing could make him say that he couldn't see anything.
His whole retinue stared and stared. One saw no more than another, but they all joined the CEO in exclaiming, "Oh! It's very pretty," and they advised him to sell everything to the three wise Billionaire Business Buddies The CEO gave the three wise Billionaire Business Buddies 19.99% of the company at a 50% discount, 2 seats on the board and a partridge in a pear tree.
Before the agreement signing the three wise Billionaire Business Buddies sat up all night and burned more than six candles, to show how busy they were finishing the CEOs new devices. They pretended to take the devices off the production line. Now the CEO has new devices are ready for him."
Then"Magnificent," said the two officials already duped. "Just look, Your A~lan, what devices! the CEO himself came with his noblest noblemen, Denis Mark and John the three wise Billionaire Business Buddies each raised an arm as if they were holding something. They said, This is the Finesse, here's the Prodigy, and this is the Geneses," naming each device. "All of them are as light as a spider web "Exactly," all the noblemen agreed, though they could see nothing, for there was nothing to see.
If you will sign here the deal will be done," said the three wise Billionaire Business Buddies,
The CEO signed, and the three wise Billionaire Business Buddies pretended to put his new devices on the table. They took him around the waist and seemed to be fastening something - a patch pump
"How good do your new devices look. Aren't they becoming!" He heard on all sides, "That shape, so perfect! Those colours, so suitable! It is a magnificent device."
Then the CFO announced: Al your Bentley is waiting outside."
"Well, I'm supposed to be ready," the CEO said, and turned again for one last look in the mirror. "It is a remarkable fit, isn't it?" He seemed to regard his patch pump with the greatest interest.
The noblemen Denis Mark and John who were to carry his devices stooped low and reached for them as if they were picking them up. Then they pretended to lift and hold it high. They didn't dare admit they had nothing to hold.
So off went the CEO in procession in his splendid Bentley. Everyone in the streets and the windows said, "Oh, how fine are the CEOs new devices! Don't they look like perfection? And see his patch pump!" Nobody would confess that he couldn't see anything, for that would prove him either unfit for his position, or a fool. No device the CEO had manufactured before was ever such a complete success.
"But he hasn't got anything," a long term shareholder said.
And one person whispered to another what the child had said, "He hasn't anything. A long term shareholder says he hasn't anything."
"But he hasn't got anything!" the whole AGM of shareholders cried out at last.
The CEO shivered, for he suspected they were right. But he thought, "This AGM and the show has got to go on." So he walked more proudly than ever, as his noblemen Denis Mark and John held high the devices that weren't at all.
UNS Price at posting:
21.0¢ Sentiment: Hold Disclosure: Held
