blonde jokes

The executive was interviewing a young blonde for a position in his company. He wanted to find out something about her personality so he asked, "If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?"

The blonde quickly responded, "The living one."


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Emailed from another humor list (The Funnies):

John gets a call from his blonde girlfriend, Buffy. "I've got a problem," says Buffy.

"What's the matter?" asks John.

"Well, I've bought this jigsaw puzzle, but it's too hard to figure out. None of the pieces fit together and I can't find any edges."

"What's the picture of?" asks John.

"It's of a big Rooster," replies Buffy.

"All right," says John, "I'll come over and have a look."

So he went over to Buffy's house and Buffy greets him saying, "Thanks for coming over." Buffy leads John into her kitchen and shows him the jigsaw pieces on the kitchen table. John looks at the jigsaw and then turns to Buffy and says, "For Pete's sake, put the Cornflakes back in the Box."


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Emailed from another humor list (Joke-of-the-Day):

Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps one of them on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me, ladies, I'd like to see your fishing licenses."

"We don't have any." replied the first blonde.

"Well,if your going to fish, you need fishing licenses," said the Game Warden.

"But officer," replied the second blonde, "we aren't fishing. We all have magnets at the end of our lines and we're collecting debris off the bottom of the river."

The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line.

"Well, I know of no law against it," said the Game Warden, "take all the debris you want." And with that, the Game Warden left.

As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight, the three blondes started laughing hysterically. "What a dumb Fish Cop," the second blonde said to the other two, "doesn't he know that there are steelhead in this river?!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Emailed by a friend (Thanks, Arifa):

Three blondes were having a picnic in the park. One of the took out a can of "one-calorie" diet cola and poured it equally into three cups.

She drank hers and the second one did the same but the third blonde just stared at her cup suspiciously.

"I wonder who got the calorie?" she asked.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Emailed from another humor list (PixDaily):

It was snowing heavily and blowing to the point that visibility was almost zero when the blonde got off work late one night. She made her way to her car and wondered how she was going to make it home.

She sat in her car while it warmed up and thought about her situation. She finally remembered her daddy's advice that if she got caught in a blizzard she should wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it. That way she would not get stuck in a snow drift. This made her feel much better and sure enough in a little while a snow plow went by and she started to follow it.

As she follows the snow plow she was feeling very smug as they continued and she was not having any problem with the blizzard conditions.

After quite sometime had passed she was somewhat surprised when the snowplow stopped and the driver got out and came back to her car and signaled for her to roll down her window. The snow plow driver wanted to know if she was all right as she had been following him for a long time.

She said that she was fine and told him of her daddy's advice to follow a snow plow when caught in a blizzard.

The driver replied that it was OK with him and she could continue if she wanted but he was done with the WalMart parking lot and was going over to K-Mart next.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Emailed from another humor list (The Funnies):

One day, a blonde and a brunnette were walking on the sidewalk when the brunette stopped and exclaimed "Look! a dead bird!" The blonde immediately looked up and said "Where? Where?"