The BEST CHURCH NEWSLETTER BLOOPERS & OTHERS Be thankful for church people with typewriters These sentences actually appeared in church newsletters or were announced in church services: 1 Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa 2 Announcement in a church bulletin for a national PRAYER & FASTING Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals" 3 The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water" The sermon tonight:"Searching for Jesus" 5 "Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house Don't forget your husbands" 6 The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict 7 Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community 8 Smile at someone who is hard to love Say "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you 9 Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help 10 Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation 11 For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs 12 Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir They need all the help they can get 13 Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons 14 During the absence of our Pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when JF Stubbs supplied our pulpit 15 The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing "Break Forth into Joy" 16 Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church So ends a friendship that began in their school days 17 A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall Music
