Bonkers we will get you rape your wife bash ya fat, page-18

Hamlet Ive been reading everyones posts this morning and finding out how
other people have been coping----I can only add it is the mosts
devastating experience--short of my first dog dying 20 years ago and
my mother dying 4 years ago.
I posted before but I don't know if it has managed show---so I'm just
jotting some thoughts down.
I love him with all my heart as I did my first dog---I don't regard
them as rivals for affection---they were both different breeds---and
totally different to look at physically---but they both had the same
funny things I loved.
I still think of my first best friend 20 years later-I read another
post where someone said they still think of their pet after a long
time---but now it is not so much with sadness---but more
spiritually-that is how I think of my first dog--in fact with my best
friend just passing--often when walking I used to tell him of my
previous best friend and how they would one day meet in Heaven--and
that dad would be up there one day when it was his turn to see them
both.
Ive cried and cried all weekend, rung people---I regarded my dog as
human and many non dog owners that I rang don't understand that and
they tend to trivalise--I find----he mean't as much to me as my own
mother-I wept when my mother died I am now weeping for him----my tears
flow freely----the sadness is overwhelming-I would think it will be
(judging the way I feel) at least 6 to 12 months before I can begin to
think happy thoughts of him in Heaven---I'll be walking the streets
and the parks where I used to take him thinking of him, like he is
still alive----a couple of nights running Ive gone to areas we used to
go to--and have yelled out his name at the top of my lungs--and how I
wouldn't give all the money in the world to see him running towards
me--and then that just makes me cry more when I don't see him.
He went into an operation that he never came out of--I'm glad I saw
him before he went under surgery and I'm glad I hugged and kissed
him--and told him how much his dad loved him-I think he understood me.
I didn't even want to leave him--but I knew I had to--and kept turning
around and saying goodbye again--eventually I sat on the floor
crosslegged with him and just simply said over and over again how much
I loved him.
We had the best times together over nearly 7 years---I split up from
my ex partnet (defacto relationship) we bought him as a twelve week
old pup--the split up was very emotionally destroying for me (my ex
left me I didn't leave her) there were times when I nearly had a
nervous breakdown and I very lonely very frightened---many lonely
nights---he comforted me---without him I would have lost it--we went
for long walks at night as well as day we had many conversations, he
helped me through all of it.
All the best to people experiencing the same grief--I'm not much of a
writer--I'm sure though everyone can recognise the same pain.