buckle up hard its time for a bounce, page-16

HOW TO SAVE THE AIRLINES



Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place.


Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers! What the hell -- They don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss?



The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a 'party atmosphere' going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women.



! Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn't need a salary, thus saving even more money. I suspect tips would be so good that we could charge the women for working the plane and have them kick back 20% of the tips, including lap dances and 'special services.'



Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline industry would see record revenues.



This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right -- a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.



Why didn't Bush think of this? Why do I still have to do everything myself?







Sincerely,



Bill Clinton