I have it on reliable authority that Karl Marx, Trotsky and...

I have it on reliable authority that Karl Marx, Trotsky and Lenin were all born and raised in Melbourne along with Leonard Brezhnev, Chairman Mow and Fidel Castro.

They were all living in the same house apparently and plotted together the downfall of capitalism whilst at sausage sizzles next to the MCG on Grand Final day.

They recruited Harold Holt into their little cycle of intrigue and arranged for him to be picked up by a Communist Chinese sub whilst swimming off Portsea.

Not many people know these facts and most Australian's are living oblivious to it. This is why Melbourne is full of communists.

Next week I will explain how Tasmania is plotting to invade and over take mainland Australia in a Greens revolution educating Kangaroos to take up arms against us all and murder us all in out sleep.

Other than that, we have nothing to worry about.