`Trump and Putin decide theyre going to decide WW3 with a Dog...

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    Trump and Putin decide theyre going to decide WW3 with a Dog Fight

    So they agree on coming back in a couple of years after training a dog for the occasion and rather than wasting millions of human lives and countless dollars they agree that the winner of the dog fight is the offical winner of WW3.

    Some time passes and they meet up again. Putin shows up with a mean looking Russian Shepard all muscle and just foaming with rage and hatred. Trump walks in with a long cage and opens it to reveal a 7ft long weiner dog. Putin and the other russians with him begin to laugh as the war is almost assuredly in their favor. Trump just nods as the two dogs enter the fighting areana.

    In a matter of seconds Trump's weiner dog has absolutely shredded Putin's Shepard. There's almost nothing left. Trump just nods his head and begins to leave. Putin in a fit of hysteria grabs Trump by the collar and asks HOW!

    "Well if you calm down vlad ill tell you." Trump says
    Putin collects himself and takes a step back. Gesturing for trump to proceed.

    "Well it took millions in plastic surgery but we were finally able to make an alligator look like a dog."
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    A trucker and a blonde.

    A trucker is driving down a busy highway when he is abruptly cut off by a blonde woman in her car. Tired and grumpy from driving all day, he quickly pulls along side of the woman's car and forces her to stop on the shoulder of the highway. The trucker and the woman get out of their vehicles. The trucker takes a rock and draws a circle around the blonde.

    "Don't you dare set foot outside this circle," the trucker orders.

    He walks over to the blondes car and keys the side of it. When he returns, the woman is standing in her circle giggling. This angers the trucker even more. He proceeds to grab a bat out of his semi and smash the mirrors off the woman's car. When the trucker returns to the woman, she is still standing in her circle laughing. Enraged, the trucker takes a gas tank out of his semi, douses the woman's car in gas, and sets it on fire. The woman bursts into hysteria.

    "I just totaled your car!! What is so funny?!" The trucker shouts.

    The blonde replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"
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    Two Best Friends

    Two best friends graduated from medical school at the same time. They decided that in spite of their two different specialties, they would open a practice together to share office space and personnel.

    Dr. Smith was a psychiatrist and Dr. Jones was a proctologist; they put up a sign reading: Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones: Hysterias and Posteriors. The town council was livid and insisted they change it.

    The docs changed it to read: Schizoids and Hemorrhoids. This was also not acceptable so they again changed the sign to read Catatonics and High Colonics - no go. Next they tried Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives - thumbs down again.

    They came up with Queers and Rears. That didn't satisfy the town council either.

    Then came Minds and Behinds - still no good. Another attempt resulted in Lost Souls and Butt Holes - unacceptable again! So they tried Nuts and Butts - no way. Freaks and Cheeks - still no good. Loons and Moons - forget it. Almost at their wit's end, the docs finally came up with:

    Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones - Specializing in Odds and Ends.
 
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