For my birthday I bought a pair of ghost bumblee earrings.
This way my face can always be between a pair of boo-bees.
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How much does a pirate pay for an earring?
A buccaneer
Those are lovely earrings . . .
A lady walks into Harrods. She looks around, spots beautiful diamond earrings and walks over to inspect them. As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farts.
Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little woops and prays that a sales person was not anywhere near.
As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her. Vool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect of a professional in a store like Harrods. He politely greets the lady with, “Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?”
Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman somehow missed her little ‘incident’, she asks, “What is the price of these lovely earrings?”
He answers, “Madam, if you farted just looking at them, you’re going to crap yourself when I tell you the price!”
An Old Friend........
A farmer was at a diner one day having lunch, when he noticed an old friend of his who was also dining there.
What really caught the farmer’s attention, was that his friend was wearing an earring.
The farmer knew that his old friend was a fairly conservative fellow, so he was really curious about his sudden change in “fashion sense”.
The farmer walked up to him and said, “Hey Tom, I didn’t know you were into earrings?”
“Don’t make such a big deal, it’s only an earring”, his friend replied sheepishly.
The farmer was silent few a few minutes, but then his curiosity got the best of him and he asked, “So, how long have you been wearing one Tom?”
“Ever since my wife found it in my truck”, his friend replied.
