A man escapes from a prison where he had been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the girl to the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he was gone, the husband tells his wife, "Listen, this guy is an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and has not seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't complain, don't resist, and do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he disgusts you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he would kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you. "
His wife responds, "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him, it is in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!"A woman goes to a fortune teller As they sat there in the candlelit tent, the mystic waved her hands around the crystal ball, divining the woman’s future. Suddenly, the sooth-sayer’s hands went to her face and a gasp of horror escaped her mouth.
“I don’t know how to tell you this, so I’ll be blunt.” the fortune teller says. “You need to prepare yourself to become a widow. Your husband will be murdered in a manner most gruesome before the year is done.”
The woman was petrified, unable to process the information that’s been given to her. Her hands began to shake and her throat felt like a desert as she barely managed to croak out the question on her mind.
“Will I be acquitted?”
