`I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet
I asked my 15 brothers and sisters and they didn’t know either.`This guy hears a knock. Opens his door and looks down, and he sees a snail.
Snail says, “Hello, sir, I was wondering if -“
The guy interrupts the snail and says, “Get lost!” and kicks the snail across the yard, and goes back inside.
Seven months later, the guy hears a knock. Open his door looks down, and sees the snail.
Snail says:
“What the hell did you do that for?”
`
`A warrior brave and his father the chief of the tribe are sitting around a campfire
The brave asks the chief, "Father, how is it that you came to name your children?"
The wise chieftain answers.
Son, each time one of my children were born, I would scoop the child into my arms and then run out of the teepee and the first thing I saw is what I would name my son or daughter.
With your sister, I ran out of the teepee and saw an eagle and so I named her Soaring Eagle.
And when your brother was born, I ran out of the teepee and saw a bull and so I named him Sitting Bull.
But, I wonder, why do you ask, Two Dogs f*ing?
`
A Tourist in Spain stopped at a local restaurant following a day of sightseeing. While sipping his Cava Sangria, he noticed a sizzling, delicious looking platter being served at the next table.
`
Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, "What is that you just served?"
`
The waiter replied: "Ah, Senor. You have excellent taste! Those are bulls testicles from the bull fight today. A delicacy!"
`
The tourist said, "What the hell, I'm on vacation! Bring me an order, please."
`
Waiter: "I’m sorry, Senor. Only one serving per day, because there is only one bull fight each day.
If you come early tomorrow and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy!"
`
The next day, the Tourist returned, placed his order, and in the evening he was served the one and only special delicacy of the day.
Halfway into the meal, inspecting the contents of his platter, he called to the waiter and said,
`
"These are delicious… -but much smaller than the ones I saw yesterday."
`
The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied: "Si, Senor. Sometimes the bull wins."
`
