Can_Do_Wind

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a ravishing blonde and a homely brunette are sharing a compartment on a train as it winds its way through the Alps.
Every now and then the train passes through a tunnel, during which time the compartment is plunged into complete darkness. On one such occasion, a ringing slap is heard and as the train passes back into daylight, the Frenchman is rubbing his sore, red cheek.

The brunette thinks "I bet that dirty Frenchman fondled the blonde and she struck the pervert."

The blonde thinks "I bet that filthy Frenchman was looking to grope me in the dark, mistook the dowdy brunette for me and she slapped the beast."

The Frenchman thinks "I bet that perfidious Englishman touched up the blonde in the dark and she slapped me by mistake."

The Englishman thinks "I can't wait for another tunnel so I can slap that French twat again."
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A man has a habit of starting every morning by breaking wind.

Of course, his wife finds this habit disgusting, and even as she asks him to stop, he only snickers, continuing the habit every morning.

After one of the husband's daily bouts of morning flatulence, the woman tells him that if he continues to fart every morning, his intestines will come out of his ass. Of course, he does not believe her claim, and he gets up, as every day before. Enraged, the woman thinks of a solution.

Later that day, the woman saves the intestines from the turkey that she has cooked, preparing to give her husband a proper scare. When he's fallen asleep, she puts the turkey intestines in his underwear, and when he wakes up, after delivering his usual sour flatuosity, he is horrified to feel what he presumes to be his own innards in his underwear.

As the man rushes to the bathroom, holding his behind all the way, his wife smiles content, asking: "I told you that would happen!"

As she hears a grunt and a slopping sound, her husband comes out of the bathroom, a satisfied grin on his face.`

"Yes," he says, "but thank goodness and these two fingers, all is back where it should be
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Edumacation is important

Two guys are digging a hole in the blistering heat, while their foreman is sitting 20 ft away under a tree, in the shade.

One of the guys turns to the other and says “hey, why are we out here digging these holes and doing all the work all day, while he gets to just sit there in the shade and watch?”

The other replies “that’s a good question, I’ve been wondering that myself. Maybe you should go over there and ask him.”

The first guy decides that’s a good idea, so he drops his shovel, climbs out of the hole, and makes his way over to the foreman, who is kicked back and relaxing in the shade. He approaches him and asks “say, boss, why is it that we’re out in the sun digging all these holes and doing all the work, while you get to just sit here in the shade and watch?”

The foreman replies “well, son, that’s because I have me an edumacation.” “What in the hell is an edumacation?” replies the worker. The foreman stands up, sticks his hand in front of the tree, and says to the worker “punch my hand as hard as you can.” The worker winds up, ready to throw the kitchen sink. As he’s about to make contact, the foreman moves his hand, and the worker shouts in pain as he drills the tree with all his might “what in the hell was that!?”. “Edumacation. That’s why I get to sit here in the shade while you dig all them holes and do all the work.”

In pain, but somewhat satisfied with this answer, he heads back to the hole and gets to digging. The second worker looks at him expectantly, and says “so, what the hell happened? What did he say?”

The first worker looks at him and says “he gets to sit there because he has him an edumacation, and we don’t”. “What in the hell is an edumacation?” asks the second worker. The first worker looks around for a moment, then puts his hand up in front of his face and tells the second worker “punch my hand as hard as you can.”