Can't we have a traditional census?

Where we count the number of males and females?
Do we have to count all those who can't make up their minds?
How much paperwork will we have to wade through otherwise?
I've got more important things to do than wade through a multitude of rubbish categories.
Please Mr Prime Minister, just piss off with your census to please every loony tune out there.

(This message has been authorised by the Committee to Normalise Australian Identity, as well as the Committee to Regulate Australian Standards, also Know as the 1950 Committee)