Caylus's exciting long red bars - tuesdayMORNING TRENDSETTERS. I...

Caylus's exciting long red bars - tuesday

MORNING TRENDSETTERS.

I casually mentioned that I had a spell in that stinking hell hole, the East Perth lock a few weeks ago.

I hadn't mentioned before that Snake Lady, having gone on a medical safari - to collect rhino horns and tigers penises - sent an unsavoury message to a member of the Greens before she went.

The emails were tracked back to my abode and the Feds had a search warrent. They found the two voodoo dolls in the scaly Trollop's sacrificial chamber, accessed under the stairs through a trapdoor to the cellar.

You'd have to be a fish faced moron (thanks Caylus) to miss the connection between the dolls, which were of an obvious 'gay persuation', as they were positoned in such a fashion that even my dear departed nanny would be forced to conclude that one was - 'taking it up the freckle' - so to speak.

That, along with the pins stuck through the voodoo lovers eyes, was enough to conclude that doll constructer and the email sender - were one and the same.

Me being the sole occupant - apparently (the dark denizen not having a passport)- I took the rap.

Speaking of 'Dark Denizens'

I'd like to introduce our star of the day - the some times cynical but very Candid - CAYLUS
(don't let the Price Charming resemblence fool you)

Now, Martis can be a warner of bad tidings XJO'ers but Caylus practically salivates on them.

Here's a few 'feel goods' from yesterday.

'Long red solid bars excite me.'

'I wont say to whom it was directed but SHORT' !

'All the incense, massage oils, saltwater air, grilled fish, headless chickens roasted with essence of unicorns caught by virginal bulls since who miraculously picked the bottom of 2009 will not save you. The sell button will.'

'Hang Seng is about to get pelted in some magnificent quantum. Unless I'm a fishfaced moron talking my own book up, in which case it will put on 300 points in about 17 seconds and tear me a new one'.

'This isn't an over-reaction. This is a flesh wound. Wanna see over-reaction? Watch the DAX'.

'DAX Death. Yanks gonna wake up on their holiday poorer by 3%.'

Without further ado MY CRAPPY PORTFOLIO.
(add $32,000 to losses from sales already)

Oh the humanity!!!