you know you need a new lawyer when...

* When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, they high-five
each other.

* During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway.

* He tells you that his last good case was a
"Budweiser."

* He picks the jury by playing "duck-duck-goose."

* During the trial you catch him playing his Gameboy.

* He asks a hostile witness to "pull my finger."

* Every couple of minutes he yells, "I call Jack Daniels to the
stand!" and proceeds to drink a shot.

* He frequently gives juror No. 4 the finger.

* He places a large "No Refunds" sign on the defense table.