china and commodities, page-11

NEW STOCK MARKET
TERMS


CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.



CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.



BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor

to mistake himself for a financial genius.



BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no

allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets

no sex.



VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.



P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants

as the market keeps crashing.



BROKER -- What my broker has made me.



STANDARD & POOR -- Your

life in a nutshell.



STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.



STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your

assets equally between themselves.



FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.



MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.



CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears

down the toilet.



YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker

for $240 per share.



WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who

bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.



INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now

locked up in a nuthouse.



PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use