christian advice for young brides 1894

  1. 41 Posts.
    Advice for Young Brides
    The following is a reprint from The Madison Institu
    te Newsletter, Fall Issue, 1894:
    INSTRUCTION AND ADVICE
    FOR THE
    YOUNG BRIDE
    on the
    Conduct and Procedure of the
    Intimate and Personal Relationships
    of the Marriage State
    for the
    Greater Spiritual Sanctity of this
    Blessed Sacrament and the Glory of God
    by
    Ruth Smythers
    beloved wife of
    The Reverend L.D. Smythers
    Pastor of the Arcadian Methodist
    Church of the Eastern Regional Conference
    Published in the year
    of our Lord 1894
    Spiritual Guidance Press
    New York City
    INSTRUCTION AND ADVICE FOR THE YOUNG BRIDE
    To the sensitive young woman who has had the benefi
    ts of proper upbringing, the wedding day is,
    ironically, both the happiest and most terrifying d
    ay of her life. On the positive side, there is the
    wedding itself, in which the bride is the central a
    ttraction in a beautiful and inspiring ceremony,
    symbolizing her triumph in securing a male to provi
    de for all her needs for the rest of her life. On t
    he
    negative side, there is the wedding night, during w
    hich the bride must pay the piper, so to speak, by
    facing for the first time the terrible experience o
    f sex.
    At this point, dear reader, let me concede one shoc
    king truth. Some young women actually anticipate
    the wedding night ordeal with curiosity and pleasur
    e! Beware such an attitude! A selfish and sensual
    husband can easily take advantage of such a bride.
    One cardinal rule of marriage should never be
    forgotten: GIVE LITTLE, GIVE SELDOM, AND ABOVE ALL,
    GIVE GRUDGINGLY. Otherwise what could have
    been a proper marriage could become an orgy of sexu
    al lust.
    On the other hand, the bride's terror need not be e
    xtreme. While sex is at best revolting and at worse
    rather painful, it has to be endured, and has been
    by women since the beginning of time, and is
    compensated for by the monogamous home and by the c
    hildren produced through it.
    It is useless, in most cases, for the bride to prev
    ail upon the groom to forego the sexual initiation.
    While
    the ideal husband would be one who would approach h
    is bride only at her request and only for the
    purpose of begetting offspring, such nobility and u
    nselfishness cannot be expected from the average
    man.
    Most men, if not denied, would demand sex almost ev
    ery day. The wise bride will permit a maximum of
    two brief sexual experiences weekly during the firs
    t months of marriage. As time goes by she should
    make every effort to reduce this frequency.
    Feigned illness, sleepiness, and headaches are amon
    g the wife's best friends in this matter. Arguments
    ,
    nagging, scolding, and bickering also prove very ef
    fective, if used in the late evening about an hour
    before the husband would normally commence his sedu
    ction.
 
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