Advice for Young Brides The following is a reprint from The Madison Institu te Newsletter, Fall Issue, 1894: INSTRUCTION AND ADVICE FOR THE YOUNG BRIDE on the Conduct and Procedure of the Intimate and Personal Relationships of the Marriage State for the Greater Spiritual Sanctity of this Blessed Sacrament and the Glory of God by Ruth Smythers beloved wife of The Reverend L.D. Smythers Pastor of the Arcadian Methodist Church of the Eastern Regional Conference Published in the year of our Lord 1894 Spiritual Guidance Press New York City INSTRUCTION AND ADVICE FOR THE YOUNG BRIDE To the sensitive young woman who has had the benefi ts of proper upbringing, the wedding day is, ironically, both the happiest and most terrifying d ay of her life. On the positive side, there is the wedding itself, in which the bride is the central a ttraction in a beautiful and inspiring ceremony, symbolizing her triumph in securing a male to provi de for all her needs for the rest of her life. On t he negative side, there is the wedding night, during w hich the bride must pay the piper, so to speak, by facing for the first time the terrible experience o f sex. At this point, dear reader, let me concede one shoc king truth. Some young women actually anticipate the wedding night ordeal with curiosity and pleasur e! Beware such an attitude! A selfish and sensual husband can easily take advantage of such a bride. One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: GIVE LITTLE, GIVE SELDOM, AND ABOVE ALL, GIVE GRUDGINGLY. Otherwise what could have been a proper marriage could become an orgy of sexu al lust. On the other hand, the bride's terror need not be e xtreme. While sex is at best revolting and at worse rather painful, it has to be endured, and has been by women since the beginning of time, and is compensated for by the monogamous home and by the c hildren produced through it. It is useless, in most cases, for the bride to prev ail upon the groom to forego the sexual initiation. While the ideal husband would be one who would approach h is bride only at her request and only for the purpose of begetting offspring, such nobility and u nselfishness cannot be expected from the average man. Most men, if not denied, would demand sex almost ev ery day. The wise bride will permit a maximum of two brief sexual experiences weekly during the firs t months of marriage. As time goes by she should make every effort to reduce this frequency. Feigned illness, sleepiness, and headaches are amon g the wife's best friends in this matter. Arguments , nagging, scolding, and bickering also prove very ef fective, if used in the late evening about an hour before the husband would normally commence his sedu ction.
