A Collingwood girl goes to the welfare office to register for...

A Collingwood girl goes to the welfare office to register for child benefits.
"How many children?" asks the welfare officer.
"Ten" replies the Collingwood girl,
"Ten?" says the welfare worker.
"What are their names?"
"Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan and Nathan."
"Doesn't that get confusing?"
"Naah..." says the Collingwood girl, "It's great because if they are out playing in the street I just have to shout 'Nathan yer dinner's ready!' or 'Nathan go to bed now!' and they all do it.
"What if you want to speak to one individually?" asks the curious welfare worker.
"That's easy," says the Collingwood girl, "I just use their surnames"

A Collingwood girl enters an adult shop and asks for a vibrator.
The man says: "Choose one from our range on the wall."
She says "I'll take that red one."
The man replies: "Thats a fire extinguisher."


Q. What do you call a 27 year old Collingwood girl?
A. Granny!


Q. What do you call a Collingwood girl in a white tracksuit?
A. The bride.

Q. What does a Collingwood girl use as protection during sex?
A. A bus shelter.


Q. There are two Collingwood girls in a car without any music - who is driving?
A. The policeman


Q. What's the most confusing day in Collingwood?
A. Father's day!


Q. How do people know Jesus wasn't born in Collingwood?
A. You try finding 3 wise men and a virgin there!


A primary school teacher explains to her class that she is a Collingwood fan.
She asks her students to raise their hands if they too are Collingwood fans.
Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.
The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, 'Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?'
'Because I'm not a Collingwood fan,' she replied.
The teacher, still shocked, asked, 'Well, if you are not a Collingwood fan, then who are you a fan of?'
'I am a Carlton fan, and proud of it,' Mary replied.
The teacher could not believe her ears and said, 'Mary, why, pray tell, are you a Carlton fan?'
'Because my mum is a Carlton fan, and my dad is a Carlton fan, so I'm a Carlton fan too!'
'Well,' said the teacher in an obviously annoyed tone, 'that is no reason for you to be a Carlton fan.
You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time... What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad was a drug addict, what would you be then?'
'Then,' Mary smiled, 'I'd be a Collingwood fan!'