Consultants

These are actually only humorous if you have never employed anyone from this company...


Q: How many McKinsey consultants does it take to change a light bulb?
A: How many can you afford...?

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: McKinsey Consultant's answer:
Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant
market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create
and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market.
McKinsey, in partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by
rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes.

Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), McKinsey helped the chicken use
its skills, methodologies, knowledge capital and experiences to align the
chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall
strategy within a program management framework.

McKinsey convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best
chickens along with McKinsey consultants with deep skills in the
transportation industry to engage in a two-day off-site in order to leverage
their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and enable them
to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of
delivering and successfully achitecting and implementing an enterprise-wide
value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes.

The meeting was held at a luxury resort enabling and creating an impactful
environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon
a consistent, clear and unified market message and aligned with the
chicken's mission, vision and core values. This was conductive towards the
creation of a total business integration solution. McKinsey & Company have helped
the chicken change to become more successful.