Dad's Jokes... semi adult...hahahaha

What do boobs and toys have in common?
They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them.

How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
Once you open it, you realize it's half-empty.

What's the difference between your wife and your job?
After five years, your job will still suck.

The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall...
The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?" The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative."
"You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!"
"Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"

I went out dressed like a chicken last night...
... and I met a girl who was dressed like an egg. One thing led to another and the lifelong question was answered: it was the chicken.