Day Trading 9 Dec Pre Market

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With Backpacker Tax Passed, Turnbull Considering Following John Key And Going Out On Top Of His Game

Saying there is nothing left for him to achieve in politics after the safe passage of the backpacker tax through parliament, Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull hinted that he might follow the lead of his New Zealand counterpart and call it a day.
“There’s nothing left in the tank,” he told journalists this morning. “We’ve achieved so much. We’ve implemented a small tax on European holidaymakers and there was something else too. So I’ve ticked off all the major things I set out to achieve in politics,” an emotional Turnbull said.
“I’ve never wanted my success to be measured by how long I’ve spent in parliament. It was always about shaping Australia for the future; about setting our sights high; about putting a fair taxation rate on casual fruit pickers. It was audacious, but we’ve done it”.

Theresa May to publish fag packet on back of which Brexit plan is scribbled

In what is being seen as a significant climb-down by the Government, Theresa May will make available the fag packet on which she scrawled the plans for Brexit after her 6th pint in a local pub.
Although not officially released yet to Government, copies of the fag packet have been made available to the press.
The fag packet reads
1 – Leave EU
2 – Sort all the shite out
Which seems to indicate a clarity of purpose, if a lack of detail, on the part of the Government.
There is also an interesting insight into the mindset of the prime minister as she formulated the plan while writing the acronym FML clearly in one corner of the fag packet and a small, crudely drawn picture of male genitalia in another.
Liberal Democrats have claimed the release of the fag packet is a victory for Remainers with Tim Farron saying “This is terrific news for everyone who voted to – No wait. Come back. We’re still relevant, we are. We got a new MP and everything!”
Labour seemed a little more guarded in their response, saying only – “Europe? That sounds like something we’re supposed to care about.”
Mrs May is understood to have been reluctant to release the fag packet as it still had a couple of silk cut in, but was talked round after an aide promised to look after them

Australia Falls 4 Places – From 18th to 28th – In International Maths Rankings

In a wake-up call for the nation’s educators, Australia has plummeted on the international maths rankings tables for students, falling to 28^th spot – a 10% decline on last year’s 18^th.
Education Minister Simon Birmingham said the results were disappointing, but not cause for alarm. “I can literally count on one hand the number of places we’ve fallen. So it’s not disastrous”.
Australia’s science rankings also fell in the global study – from 12^th to 17^th – although an education spokesperson said she was unable to find any evidence of that ranking.
Mr Birmingham said he would seek to address the dropping standards, but pointed out that Australia’s primary and secondary school literacy results were exallant.