I've been on here for a while and would like to open about a topic that some find uncomfortable - Depression, in part as a tribute to Charlotte Dowson. After my marriage broke down in 2008, I was starting to feel down in the dumps. I tried to hide it and thought time would pass. Being the "strong" guy that I supposedly am, I tried to hide it. People at work and home appeared worried about me because I wasn't my usual self (I was always the office joker - work hard, joke hard, always trying to make people smile and laugh). I became quiet and stopped attending work functions. As for counselling I thought I'd be all right mate..But deep inside I knew I was going through a rough patch. Well come Fathers Day and my ex-wife, bitter about our break up, told me I'd never see my child again - later that day I tried to commit suicide by overdosing on pills - I took a whole box of sleeping pills and was rushed to hospital. 2 days later I was told by a doctor that I was lucky to have survived and happy that I was still alive. His eyes were teary. Fancy that, a complete stranger telling me that he was happy that I'm still alive. My depression had gotten worse and being told that I'd never see my child again had been the final straw. When released from hospital a few days later, I sought help and was put on anti-depressants. I went back at work after one week off - I wanted to refocus on my work to keep active rather than dwell at home, especially about negative thoughts. I confided in a few close colleagues at work who spent considerable time with me in talking through issues. I also got professional help. Now nearly 6 years later, I feel that I'm on top of it now (still have the odd down day though) and I'm seeing my child regularly as any good father does. My ex and I are actually on good terms now. I feel however humbled by all the support I've received from friends, work colleagues,family and professional help during this difficult time. I've come to realise that suicide is a permanent solution to what are generally temporary problems. I beg that anyone out there who is going through a rough patch to find atleast one trusted individual to open up and discuss their feelings. I hope this post of mine helps someone out there.
