>>>>Dictionary for Decoding Women's Personal Ads: >>>> >>>>40-ish ........................ 49. >>>>Adventurous .............. Slept with everyone. >>>>Athletic ...................... No breasts >>>>Average looking .......... Moooo. >>>>Beautiful .................... Pathological liar. >>>>Emotionally Secure ... On medication. >>>>Feminist .................... Fat >>>>Free spirit .................. Junkie >>>>Friendship first .......... Former sl#t. >>>>New-Age ................... Body hair in the wrong places. >>>>Old-Fashioned ........... No BJs. >>>>Open-minded ............. Desperate >>>>Outgoing ................... Loud and Embarrassing. >>>>Professional .............. B!tch >>>>Voluptuous ................ Very Fat >>>>Hugh frame ............... Hugely Fat >>>>Wants soul mate ....... Stalker >>>> >>>>WOMEN'S ENGLISH: >>>>1. Yes = No >>>>2. No = Yes >>>>3. Maybe = No >>>>4. We need = I want >>>>5. I am sorry - You'll be sorry >>>>6. We need to talk = you're in trouble >>>>7. Sure, go ahead = you better not >>>>8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later >>>>9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron! >>>>10. You're certainly attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think >> about? >>>> >>>>MEN'S ENGLISH: >>>> >>>>1. I am hungry = I am hungry >>>>2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy >>>>3. I am tired = I am tired >>>>4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage! >>>>5. I love you = Let's have sex now >>>>6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex? >>>>7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you. >>>>8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you. >>>>9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you. >>>>10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you. >>>>11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit - I'm gay
