dieting try this

New Miracle Toddler Diet
by Anita Romaniw, B.A.Sc., R.D.N.


Each new year brings an onslaught of new diets. The trouble is, most people don't get enough to eat when dieting (the starvation diet) or not enough variety (the liquid diet) or they go broke (the all meat diet). As a result, people either "cheat" or quit dieting after a few days. Is there nothing one can do but blame their body size on a gland problem? Well, such is the "New Miracle Toddler Diet".

I've noticed that most two-year-olds are trim. It came to me over a cup of black coffee and a carrot that perhaps it's what they eat. So after talking with pediatricians, x-ray technicians and distraught moms, I was able to formulate this diet for adults. It's inexpensive and provides lots of variety.

Before embarking on this diet, however, please check with your doctor. Otherwise, you may have to see them afterwards.

Day One

Breakfast:
One scrambled egg, one piece of toast with grape jelly. Eat 2 bites of egg and dump the rest on the floor. Take bite of toast and smear the jelly on face and clothes.

Lunch:
Peanut butter and banana sandwich, glass of milk. Spit out several bites of sandwich. Pour glass of milk on table and slurp up.

Snack:
Two pennies and a nickel, 3 sips of stale pop found in family room.

Dinner:
Mashed potatoes, chicken fingers and carrot coins. Pour milk on mashed potatoes and finger paint table top. Eat half of chicken and toss rest at brother. Stick carrot coins wherever possible.

Day 2

Breakfast:
Pancakes with lots of syrup, glass of milk. Eat pancake with fingers, rub in hair. Stuff pancake in glass of milk.

Lunch:
Two crayons (non-toxic), any colour, picked up from floor. Nibble on dog biscuit spilt from box in cupboard.

Snack:
Lick all-day sucker until sticky: take outside. Drop in dirt; retrieve and lick clean. Bring inside and drop on rug.

Dinner:
Macaroni and cheese. Eat half with hands; feed rest to dog. Pull off that stale gum stuck under the table and enjoy for dessert.

Day 3

Breakfast:
Quarter tube of toothpaste (fluoridated), bit of soap and bite of kleenex. Pour glass of milk on cornflakes, add sugar and mix. When soggy, refuse to eat.

Lunch:
Two matches (unlit), half a tube of "pulsating pink" lipstick, half a cup of strawberry yoghurt; leave lots on face.

Snack:
Find that sucker and lick off the fuzz. Stick to the cushion of your best chair.

Dinner:
Spaghetti and meatballs, eaten strand by strand. Roll meatball across plate many times; cut in quarters and leave on plate. Nibble on stick of mascara for dessert.